Friday, November 29, 2019

If you're a guy who is into guys this is for you....

MAXpress Yourself is the monthly workshop that I present for Max Ottawa, which is a health and wellness organization for guys into guys who live in the Ottawa/Gatineau region. In the past I've been asked if trans guys are welcome, and yes they absolutely are! In fact, guys who may not identify as being either gay, bi, hetero or trans but are into guys are welcome too! Also, if you are questioning or curious, or are not out yet, that's okay. We don't judge, it's not our job! :) Whatever your personal history is, wherever you are on your journey, Max Ottawa is here for the community so please come out and join us and make some new friends! Hope to see you at the workshop!

If you have any questions about the workshop please don't hesitate to contact me:

If you want to contact me about a topic that is not related to Max Ottawa (such as my comic books or any of my blogs, etc.) please contact me through my personal email:

To learn more about Max Ottawa events check out "The List" on the Max Ottawa website!

Have an awesome day!!!!

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Fuzzy Pink Unicorn's Rule!!!

Hi all! Just hangin' out with my awesome fuzzy pink unicorn! A gift from my friend Stevie. Definitely something that every grown man should have. LOL!!! :)

Monday, September 24, 2018

Pride Pepsi Can

This past summer, likely sometime in July (2018), I came across this Pride themed Pepsi can in a local corner store. I know it's just a Pepsi can so it may not seem like a big deal to some people, but for me, I was quite taken aback and surprised to see it. In fact it still seems a bit surreal. 
Seeing this Pepsi can decorated with the pride flag, I instantly thought about my high school days in the late 1980's. I would often get a can of Pepsi from the vending machine in the school cafeteria to drink at lunch time while hanging out with my best friend. The cans were quite different then, and much smaller. Though, that's not all that was different. In the late 1980's it still wasn't considered a hate crime to beat someone up for being gay, or to write "fag" on someone's locker. Maybe if there was a witness to the beating the person could be charged with assault, but it wouldn't have been considered a hate crime. Getting the attacker arrested would also depend on the officer who showed up, as once they learned that the person who had been beaten was gay it was possible that the officer might decide that they didn't see anything worth reporting. 
By 1989, homosexuality (or to be technical "engaging in sexual activity with the same-sex") had only been legal in Canada for 20 years, since 1969. Social prejudice of any kind towards a minority group takes a long time to change, so in the late 1980's the outlook toward being gay was still quite derogatory. Gay folks were no longer being arrested for being gay like they were in the 1960's and earlier, but they were still being fired from their jobs, kicked out of their parents house, socially ostracized, harassed, bullied, and generally discriminated against in every aspect of their lives. Unlike today where some folks might purposefully chose to lead a gay lifestyle, such as having a gay fling or a long term relationship, back then being gay was not something that you signed up for or chose to be. It was something unfortunate that you got stuck with due to the whim of Mother Nature. The simple fact is, most people who are gay are born with a same-sex sexual preference and don't have the option to chose to be gay or heterosexual.
Fortunately I never experienced any violence in high school, nor was I ever bullied for being gay because I simply never told anyone that I was gay. I kept my same-sex feelings to myself. Frankly, I was much too confused about my gayness to accept how I felt. At the time I didn't understand why I liked guys so much and I struggled with the reality that I was sexually interested them. It confused me that I didn't have those same feelings for girls, but would instead look at other guys at my school that I thought were cute while feeling on the inside like I was swooning over them. I didn't want to be gay or accept that I was gay because having grown up in a catholic community I was taught that it was shameful, disgraceful, and perverted to be gay.
Of course I now know that's all a load of BS and I'm very proud to be gay. At the time however, knowing that I could be beaten up or bullied for being gay completely terrified me. Quite simply, I was a frightened teenager all throughout high school. For the sake of survival I supressed a lot of my genuine thoughts and feelings in order to hide my true identity from others, and from myself. Somehow, I endured this feeling of continuous fear from grade seven to graduation, essentially from 1987 to 1993. For me, the fear was just a part of being in high school.
Fast forward 30 years, so much has changed regarding gay rights that even the Pepsi cans have Pride rainbows on them! It's surreal to me, but it's a good feeling. Today police officers all across Canada walk in Pride parades to show their support for the gay community, gay teenagers are able to be openly gay in high school and take their sweetheart to the school prom, and colleges and universities have pride centres to make gay students feel welcome. It's a new world! And its one that at last I feel comfortable being my genuine self in, to be openly gay and to let my true spirit shine. I'll gladly drink a Pepsi to that! :)

Sunday, September 9, 2018

A piece of my heart

Here is a poem that I wrote back in the 1990's, during my 20's when I was a young man longing for love...

Friday, July 13, 2018

In Memory of Gay Icon Tab Hunter

Singer and actor Tab Hunter became a Hollywood icon during my parent's generation. Although his rise to fame and the height of his career occurred well before my time, I was saddened to hear that he had passed away on Sunday, July 8 2018 at the age of 86.

I know little about Mr. Hunter and his career, and I can't claim to be a fan of his films as the only one I've seen, that I'm aware of anyway, is Grease 2 which is hardly a film one could reasonably measure his talents by. Instead, like many gay men my age, I'm mainly affected by Tab Hunter's sudden passing because of his role as a gay icon, and a very handsome one at that! It's understandable as to why he attracted such a devoted following of girls during the late 1950's, with his blond hair and his sweet smile Tab Hunter's looks were well suited to movie screens, on which he apparently spent a lot of time without a shirt... something that I'm looking forward to investigating further!

Yet quite remarkably, as with many other leading male Hollywood actors, Tab Hunter was forced to live a double life from his childhood in the 30's through to his senior aged adulthood, only recently confirming publicly in 2005 that he was gay.

His fame occurred at a time when society was so intolerant toward homosexuals that most treated the subject as being too taboo to even talk about, and as such for the sake of his career and more importantly for the sake of his safety and well being, it was not only prudent but necessary for Tab Hunter to hide the fact that he was gay. I find it ironic that quite contrary to the so called "controversy" of being gay, Tab Hunter seems to have been quite a gentleman and never did anything that was actually controversial... no excessive drug use or public incidents of drunkenness, no reckless driving, no forced sexual contact, no scandals what so ever! Evidently he was quite a respectable human being which, I think it's fair to say, is rare in Hollywood.

How sad and shameful that society forced a good man like Tab Hunter to live out the majority of his life in secrecy, concealing his true self and his true spirit from the world, just because he was gay. In the least, it's comforting to know that through it all he persevered to find a few steady partners over his lifetime. He also spent the last 35 years with partner and film producer Allan Glaser, who was quoted in the media stating that Tab Hunter's death was "sudden and unexpected".

Above is a YouTube video of Tab Hunter singing his hit song Young Love in 1957. He is sooooo adorable in this video! It's fun to watch as he  keeps breaking out into a big smile, as though he's trying to keep from laughing. Such a sweet young man! It's interesting that the song does not mention any suggestion of whom he is singing to other than a "young love, first love", and as such this can be interpreted as a love song for heterosexual or homosexual couples.

Tab Hunter and Roddy McDowell
Tab Hunter as he appeared at the height of his fame in the late 1950's.

Tab Hunter and Rudolph Nureyev

Tab Hunter... looks good with his shirt on too! :)

A more recent image of Tab Hunter, and his younger self from the late 1950's.

Allan Glaser and Tab Hunter

In Memory of Tab Hunter
1931 - 2018

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Hotness Alert! Viewing may cause shortness of breath!

Cellphone selfies... aren't they wonderful!!! :)
The greatest invention of the computer age!
I have no idea who this guy is but I'm glad he felt inclined to post this shirtless photo! Wow! Some guys are just born with it. What a beautiful guy! In addition to having an attractive face his body is just amazing! I love guys who have this type of physique, slim and fit with nice muscular definition. Obviously with a body like his, this guy must feel quite confident in sharing a sexy selfie like this online. What a nice gift to the world! LOL :) Goodness, he even pushed down his pants to show off his lower pelvic area. If his pants were any lower this would be an R rated photo! That's confidence for ya! :)

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Being "In the Closet"

Being "In the Closet" is when someone who is gay has yet to open up and tell significant people in their life about their sexual orientation. Typically, being and staying in the closet causes others to be uncertain of what the gay individual's sexual preference might be, though many will typically assume the person is heterosexual. 

One of the thoughtless and cruel methods of bullying used among teens, as well as some immature adults, is to call someone gay simply if they exhibit what are stereotypically considered to be gay characteristics such as a guy being effeminate, or a girl who is strong and boyish. In such cases, the person being targeted may not actually be gay at all, though sometimes they are but may still be "closeted" around their family, or even to themselves, which makes such bullying particularly cruel and inhumane.

People stay in the closet when they don't feel that it's safe to be openly gay in their particular community or social environment. Unfortunately, one of the realities of the world is that if you are different from the main stream in any way, you are a potential target for the thoughtlessness and cruelty of others. However, such criticism can be diminished when you embrace that which makes you different, love yourself, and realize that you are unique... the only "you" on the entire planet!... as then it is easy to understand just how special beyond measure you truly are.

Even if you are in the closet, your being here right now, on this earth, is truly a miracle!

Despite the many ways that human beings are different from each other, or how illogical it is to expect every human being on the planet to be heterosexual, we unfortunately live in a predominately heterosexist society. As such, gay kids typically learn to be ashamed of who they are even though there is nothing wrong with them. This is one of the injustices or faults of Western culture.

The result is that later in life it takes time to accept being gay and make the first bold step of telling someone. The earlier in life that a gay person can come out, the better it will be for their present and future self. It's not healthy to stay in the closet and it also prevents you from getting on with life, having life experiences, finding a boyfriend, establishing a career, building friendships, and so on.

However, it goes without saying that all gay people do not have the exact same experience with coming out, accepting who they are, and then finding a partner. There's no formula or pattern that must be followed. Everyone is on their own journey and deserves the freedom of coming to terms with being gay in whatever amount of time they need. Variables such as a person's surroundings, the tolerance or intolerance of friends and family, and a person's physical location on the globe, all have an effect on how each of us muddles through it all. This is why some gay folks are able to be so openly gay and have a partner, while others living in the same city choose to be patient and give themselves more time before coming out.

Of course, one needs to be careful not to fall into the habit of using "being in the closet" as an excuse for not facing the uncomfortable task of coming out, as avoiding coming out can be unhealthy and detrimental to one's well being. Admittedly, I did just that for many years which I regret, so I am speaking from experience. You are only young once so coming out during your teens is ideal. But forcing someone to come out, or outing them against their wishes is wrong and cruel, no matter how good your intentions might be, as being outed only makes a person feel more powerless in a world that they already find overwhelming. I would also add that outing someone under the guise of "helping them" is a selfish thing to do as such an act is not about them but about you. Though you may think you are helping, what you are really doing is making their very personal situation about you, "the helper", rather than about them. If you really have a closeted person's best interests in mind, treat them as an adult and allow them the respect and dignity of being in control of their own life choices.

It must be up to the individual to make the choice one way or the other to come out, when they are ready.

Supporting someone who is gay by letting them be in control of when and where they will come out is the best thing that a friend can do. Simply being a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk to, to confide in, and to listen, is often more helpful than you might realize.

Rest assured, the injustice of shaming gay kids and the need for gay folks to come out later in life is slowly being eradicated by those who are companionate, forward thinkers regardless of their sexual preference. Gay kids today can take comfort in knowing that the laws protecting homosexuals exist as a result of homosexuals and heterosexuals working together to create an inclusive society.

Next page: Coming out again, and again, and again

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Originally Posted March 2016
Last Updated Aug 2017

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